Hidden Equal
by XxMyLoverxX
Summary: Harry and Severus finally found their equal in life, only to have it taken away when Harry was killed in the war. Suddenly a new teacher shows up named Professor Evans and tries to win over Severus. Will he succeed? Is Harry truly dead? MPREG


**June 28****th****, 1998. The day it all ended. **

Severus Snape paced back and forth restlessly across his rooms sitting room. He was on the edge of anxiety. The result could end to be a complete sensation or could end in despair. Underneath, he was seething with fury, waiting for the black haired savior to return, or most likely the manipulative old coot.

The long awaited final battle had finally come and struck with vengeance. Many Severus once knew as, well not exactly friends but companions were killed. Very few Gryffindors were lost, but unfortunately their survival was made up with the death count from the other three houses. Slytherin was the utmost highest number. Fortunately, Severus was lucky not to lose his godson, Draco Malfoy. Draco and a few of his friends had luckily survived, but many had been killed because of their refusal to join the dark lord and become death eaters in training. Draco's father was one of the very few death eaters that actually had some intelligence in their head and agreed to be a spy. He along with Severus and his wife collected information from the dark lord in meetings and reported it back to the headmaster. In the end result, it worked out to their greatest dreams and they were finally free from the insufferable dark mark. Once the dark lord had fallen courtesy of one Harry Potter, the dark mark had faded from all still living death eaters. Allowing them to be finally be free. Free to have a life without killing, without fear, a peaceful life. A normal life.

Severus was in fact looking forward to after the war because he actually had a reason to look forward. A reason to still have a future. Severus was fortunate to have been blessed with a love, someone to wake up in the morning for. To be there beside him, forever.

Severus had never believe he would have fallen in love with his greatest rival's, other than Voldemort, son. For the first years of Severus knowing Harry, he had despised him and executed the plan to make his life a living hell, like Harry's father had done to him in school. He wanted revenge. Regrettably, he failed to see that the raven haired angel was nothing like his father. Harry was a kind hearted, innocent child. A child trying to learn of a new world that he hadn't known about or lived in for roughly ten years. Years soared by and the tormenting continued, constant criticizing of actually decent potions that had been tampered with by Slytherins and numerous vile remarks about what a spoiled little brat he was. Severus blindly believed since Harry was the Boy-Who-Lived that he would be spoiled and a brat, constantly thinking everyone was below him.

Though, one day late in January, a very cold quiet night, he had came upon in a darkened alcove the face of a red eyed, disheveled, crying raven haired boy. He had never been one to take pity on anyone, considering he himself was a death eater and went through the worst of situations, but this one time, the one look Harry gave him. It reached him like nothing before could. The pain and suffering he saw engraved upon the gorgeous emerald eyes was powerful. Right there, he saw the bruises, the pain, and the not typical thinness. He saw how small Harry was. Barely reaching above five foot four, weighing scarcely less than 100 pounds. He was too small to be compared to the other students his age. He was suppose to be a well fitted sixth year, well past puberty, while Harry looked like it had barley hit. The long raven black hair that framed his delicate slightly more feminine face, dropped to the length of his middle back, tied back with a thin piece leather strap. All in all, Harry Potter at the moment to Severus was captivating.

He had never truly saw Harry before, and now that he did he could not get enough and wanted more. The sadness etched inside Harry deep eyes sang the song of despair and made Severus to come to terms with the fact that Harry had seen more than he should. He had seen more pain, conflict, rejection, and abuse than anyone should ever see. He was Severus' equal.

Severus had led to believe that no one other than himself had seen such dejection, other than Lucius. Dumbledore had alleged he had seen just as much, but the old coot was underestimating what pain Severus had been through. From the point of being rejected by your flesh and blood, to normal life companions he met, to death eater events. No one ever truly knew the real Severus other than Lucius, but Severus had made a mistake when he had shown his real self then. Lucius was a good companion or if you will, a real friend. But once Severus opened up to someone, it only lasted a while. Two years tops, Lucius had been there for Severus through think and thin, but slowly it got less and less. From the time Lucius got married and had Narcissa to make sure was safe, he was still there mostly, not every time like before but almost all. Then Narcissa and Lucius had Draco and Lucius had another being to keep safe. That resulted fewer times he came. He was there sometimes, just sometimes until it stopped almost completely. Severus was alone once again.

Then that night there was Harry, his equal. He had seen as much as he had, or more. It shared the connection of wanting a family, a love, and a life outside of war. Severus that night had surprisingly comforted Harry in any way he could and it resulted spectacularly. He had gotten to know Harry, actually gotten to know and got through his inner and outer shell that was always up to protect him. He become an important part in Harry's life as vice versa. The visits grew to an alarming amount and their friendship blossomed along with it. Stronger and deeper than any ever before they had with anyone and eventually it grew to love. Both never really knew when it had started, it just did. It was like they never had despised each other but had always loved each other and were finally safe. They bonded closer and closer as the final battle approached. Severus wary of his secret love while he was around Voldemort and Harry as he trained for the result of the prophecy struck them to deeply hang on for the other and wish for a blissful result.

The final battle had gone well, they both fought through every death eater. Approaching slowly to the dark lord. Harry defeated the dark lord and saved all of the wizardly world a year out of school, roughly over two years in their relationship, a month and three days before his eighteenth birthday, a week and two days after their engagement came too. On June 28th of 1998, the dark lord was no more. Harry has successfully killed Lord Voldemort once and for all. But all glory comes with a price, the price of the health of the savior. Harry had been caught in the shot of a death eater that snuck up behind as Harry was examining Tom Riddles body. The result? Harry was on the in-between line of life and death. Severus had, like all lovers would do, ran to Harry's side once he saw the scene of his lover falling. He came to the body of Harry, barely having a pulse with shallow and low breaths falling from his mouth as his chest slowly rose and fell. Severus levitated Harry's body behind him as he rushed him towards the Hospital Wing. As usual, Poppy Pomphrey had pushed Severus out of the room so she could examine her patient, while Dumbledore led him back down the dungeons to his and Harry's rooms, as the war was done only the after math was left. That was how he ended up here now, on the brink of anxiety. Waiting on the verdict on his beloved Harry's life.

Severus prayed he wouldn't die. He couldn't live if Harry died without him, left him alone. Harry was all he had anymore, the only meaning to his existence. If he died, Severus would be alone again.

Severus stopped his frantic pacing as he heard the sound of the front portrait opening. He twirled around to face Dumbledore as he made his way towards Severus.

"How is he?" Severus asked as he met Dumbledore halfway. "Is he okay? Will he be alright?"

Severus flung question after question at Dumbledore not stopping long enough for a response to be said. Dumbledore held his hand up as a gesture to motion Severus to slow down and quiet so Dumbledore could tell him. Severus silenced and hoped for the news he wanted to hear.

"My boy, I'm afraid I don't know how to tell you this," Dumbledore began as his face laced with pain and anguish. "Harry…Harry fought for his life, but the damage was too much. Severus, I'm sorry but, Harry has passed away."

Severus froze as he heard Dumbledore's words. Harry was gone, never coming back, he was alone once again. Severus may have not died physically with Harry that day, but emotionally and mentally, he had.

Severus' last sight before he allowed the darkness to overtake him was the memory of Harry's smiling face in front of his eyes, clouding his vision. Harry was now only a memory.

**September 2****st****, 1998. The day it began once again. **

Two months and five days. That was how long Harry had been dead. How long Harry had been away from Severus. How long Severus had been left alone. How long Severus had lost the reason to live.

Severus sighed as he climbed off his four poster bed and walked across the carpet towards the master bathroom. The room was decorated exactly the same as it was when Harry was alive. Severus never could build enough courage to change anything because if he did then it would fully mean that Harry was not coming back and never will, and Severus didn't know if he could grasp the idea of that.

Severus' pale body walked across the master bedroom. The dark blue walls cast a shadow on the room causing an allusion of night even when it was day. Paired with the black soft carpet that hid all cold that was in the dungeons to keep their feet warm, the room clearly showed as the room of one Severus Snape. Harry had never voiced any opinion of changing anything; he had simply said that as long as Severus liked it then he would too. So as it went no changes were needed. Left exactly the same for the past nineteen years since Severus began teaching.

Trudging reluctantly across the room into the cold tiled, black walled bathroom, Severus climbed into the marble tiled shower and washed away the frequent night evidence of crying. Not one night had been tear free since Harry's death. Clearly devastated and in a phase of depression and desperation, Severus was a wreck. He was alone.

He still had the support of his _'companions'_, mainly Albus, Minerva, Draco, Lucius, Harry's friends Hermione and Ron surprisingly and any other colleagues he had, but it wasn't the same. Over time in the month he had grown closer to Lucius again, considering he was in the same position as he was. Narcissa had unfortunately died while taking a killing curse in the final battle that was directed at Draco. She had saved Draco but had left her husband and son alone. Lucius could relate in some ways to Severus but not entirely because he still had Draco left, someone of his own flesh and blood. Severus was alone, Harry hadn't left anything left of himself for Severus. They had talked about starting a family since wizards in the wizardly world could have children as well, either naturally if they were powerful enough or by a fertility potion. They had both dreamed upon a young little boy with Harry's beautiful emerald eyes and his nose while the rest of his features were Severus', dark and mysterious. If they had a little boy they knew he would be a heart breaker, with Harry's beautiful captivating features to the mystery and dark handsome features Severus' withheld. But the dream was tossed out when Harry had died and Severus was left with heartbreak.

Severus grabbed a large fluffy towel from the towel rack as he exited the shower and tied it around his waist as he trekked to his rooms closest. He opened up the closet doors and came upon a large collection of long black robes. There was in various locations the occasional nonblack robe that Harry and bought Severus because he had declared he needed color in his life. He had never in truth known what he had meant by that statement and now never would. Slipping off a clean black robe from one of the hangers he slung the garment on, and headed into the main part of his rooms. Briskly walking across the floor and leaving the rooms altogether, Severus headed to the Great Hall for breakfast.

Walking through the double doors he came to the scene of the packed Great Hall, swarmed with students of all years yelling above the noise trying to be heard as the talked to the person beside or across from them. At the front of the room stood the table of the teachers. Various teachers were sitting in the chairs provided. One was Hermione Granger-Weasley as the Muggle Studies teacher. Beside her sat her husband Ronald 'Ron' Weasley and in his lap sat their one year old daughter, Estelle. Ron and Hermione had married straight after they finished school given that Hermione was already pregnant with their first child. The final battle was a big hazard for the small family with the risk of both parents being killed and having to leave their young child alone, not to mention the child's godfather was the leader in the war. Many had encouraged for them to name a new godfather since Harry had been killed in case anything should happen, and reluctantly they made the decision. They asked Severus since he was Harry's life partner, even though Harry was gone, if he wasn't he would have still been the other sole provider for their daughter anyway and so they asked him if he would do the honors of being her other godfather. Severus had happily agreed. In view of the fact that he was dating Harry, Severus had put up an effort to get to know Harry's best mates and in return they did as well. Surprisingly they showed that they did provide decent company, better than the wizened wizard at least.

Beside the Auror, Ron, sat Harry's godfather Sirius and beside him was his mate, Remus. They had gotten together in Harry's seventh year and were reluctant to reveal their relationship to Harry because they were unsure of how he was going to take it. They were unknown to Severus' and Harry's relationship therefore in return to their confession Harry and Severus revealed their relationship. To say Sirius took it well would be a lie; to say he was a little upset would be an understatement. He was furious. To find out that his godson was dating the victim of his torment in his school days was infuriating. With the help of Remus and Harry explaining and showing how much Severus meant to Harry and how much he cared for him, Sirius agreed unwillingly to a truce and accepted their relationship. Sirius then took the position as DADA teacher with the assistance of Remus occasionally. Recently, Sirius had forbidden Remus from the classroom though seeing as Remus was currently in his fourth month of pregnancy with their first child. He had just started to show and recently they had revealed the fact that they were having a little girl. They were ecstatic, the only thing downing on their happiness was the fact that their 'first child' or their first cub as Remus called him, Harry, was dead. Remus had almost lost the baby from devastation of losing one of his cubs, a part of him, as the wolf part considered Harry one. While Sirius had fallen in depression over the idea of failing Lily and James. The only way they were pulled out was when Severus had showed them the fact that Harry wouldn't want them to blame themselves and that he as well was looking forward to the birth of his little sister and wouldn't want them to lose her because of him. Sirius and Remus had tried to show Severus that as long as it wasn't their fault then it wasn't his either, but Severus had a hard time trying to believe that. He had succumbed to the thought of it being his fault and nothing could get past it to change his mind. Only if Harry came back would it change, but that was impossible.

Severus grumbled as he made his way to sit at the head table. Lazily plucking himself into the wooden chair, he took the ladle from one of the bowls and put some scrambled eggs on his plate, followed by bacon and a slice of toast. He scowled as he began to eat.

"Good morning, Professor Snape," Hermione said cheerfully.

Severus sighed as he turned to the young girl. "Hermione, how many times must I tell you to call me Severus. We're colleagues, you have the right to call me by the first name. Only the students have to call me Professor."

Hermione blushed. "Well, since you've taught me for seven years, it just doesn't seem right. I know Harry tried to get us to call you by your first name but—"

Hermione was cut off as Severus face darkened. "Well, Harry isn't here, is he? So it doesn't matter what he thinks!" Severus snapped.

Hermione gaped at the way he responded, while Remus who was listening intently to the conversation decided to change the subject before it fell in deeper water.

"Hey, Severus. Did you hear about the new Professor that's starting today?"

"No." Severus grumbled.

"Yeah," Remus continued. "He's talking over for Madam Hooch, seeing as she retired last year."

"Oh, yes!" Hermione agreed. "Professor Evans, I believe was his name if I am correct."

"That you are, Mrs. Granger." Dumbledore said as he walked past the three adults. "You are also going to meet him very shortly as well. I must introduce him now."

Headmaster Dumbledore stood up and raised his hand in a gesture to quiet the students down.

"Boys and girls," he began. "I wish to briefly occupy your time before you head for your first classes. I wish to introduce you to your new flying instructor. Now, he did not appear yesterday at the opening feast because of a personal matter. I wish for you all to warmly welcome your new Professor as much as possible." Dumbledore smiled at the curious student population. "Without further ado, let me introduce, Professor Evans."

All heads in the Great Hall twirled around to look at the double doors as a man walked out towards them.


End file.
